Communication isn’t as straightforward as it seems. There are three core levels: Parent, Child, and Adult.
Let’s break it down:
- Parent: This level focuses on directives and commands, like “Do this or else.” It’s about control and future expectations.
- Child: This is about resistance and sticking to the status quo. It’s where we hear, “I don’t want to change. It works for me.”
- Adult: This level deals with objective reality. It’s about logical thinking and present actions. “I think, therefore I am.”
When you communicate from a Parent or Child perspective, you force your listeners into the opposite role. In a business context, if you speak from a Parent perspective, you’re pushing your employees into a Child role. You’re not just influencing them; you’re compelling them to respond as if they were children.
This dynamic disempowers your team and hands over all the critical thinking to you. For instance, if you ask, “Did you complete this task?” you’re training them to rely on you for answers rather than solving problems independently.
Instead, shift to the Adult level of communication. Present the facts and ask, “Here’s the situation, what do you want to do about it?” No threats or judgments—just a straightforward challenge to find solutions.
Missed your sales target? Instead of berating or questioning their actions, state, “This is the situation. What are you going to do about it?”
Your goal should always be to engage at the Adult level. Address the reality of the situation and empower your team to find solutions. It’s that simple.